I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
