I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
