Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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