I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
