So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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