I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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