We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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