my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
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