Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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