when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
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