Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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