Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
