I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I CAN MOONWALK!
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
