good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It's blow job season.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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