it's not cheating when I paid for it
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
We need to get me chipped asap
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
