So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
