so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize