White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
