and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
