went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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