I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
