if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
then he tried to convert me to islam
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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