nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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