I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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