if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
