well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
