Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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