Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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