Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
