Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
