We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
