If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
