Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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