Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
