that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
