I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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