it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
