I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
