I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
