Midget sex pt 2 tonight
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
