people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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