I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
