Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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