Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
