Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
