at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
