they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
