what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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