so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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