are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
