so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
