We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
