I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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