Whod you bang
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
