Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
