I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
