He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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