Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
