Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
