no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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