Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
